You Make Me Stupid

By standard definition I am a pretty smart girl. I graduated with good grades with little effort. I like to read and play trivia. I can write and spell and most of the time I am grammatically close if not correct. I enjoy taking practice tests for college even though I never attended. I actually keep considering getting my bachelors but still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up. I like helping kids with their homework and I enjoy seeing others succeed in education. I do well in my career and am for the most part self-taught. I know this all may sound a little cocky but I'm about to humble myself before you all. The point is: For the most part, I feel like I'm a pretty bright bulb most of the time.

Except the moments when I am stupid.

I'm dating a wonderful guy that has already seen all of the faces that I have. The sad face, the pissed off face, the giddy face and more and more he's seeing my stupid face. In all walks of who I am I feel as though Eric makes me a better person. However, I don't know what it is about him, but for some reason he brings out all the stupid in me!

Enjoy!

Incident #1
I love bubble baths. Eric bought me a nice gift set from Philosophy (guys take note: you can't ever go wrong with ANYTHING from Philosophy!) In the set was Red Velvet Cake Bubble Bath. Yum.

A few days after giving me the present we were having a riveting conversation about ice cream and he brought up Red Velvet Cake ice cream. At the thought of this I made the vomit noise. Nothing about red velvet ice cream sounded appealing. The conversation went something like this:

"Well, if you don't like red velvet I guess I screwed up on the gift," he said to me.

Realizing my blunder and my love for my new bubble bath I quickly back peddled. "Silly Eric, there is a difference between scent and smell!"

Eric pauses and then grins. "Uh… no Elicia, there's really not."

Incident #2
Eric is a Marine. A few weeks ago we went to KY Kingdom for the weekend and in the park we saw a guy walking around in full uniform. Now, Eric is just as proud as the next member of the military, but he doesn't have to flaunt it in order to feel special. Upon seeing this Army boot camp grad he rolled his eyes and mentioned how ridiculous he thought he thought it was that they were allowed to strut about in public in their cammies. I thought it was ridiculous simply because it was about 90 degrees out there and the guy was sweating like a stuck pig!

About an hour or so later we came across someone else in full uniform. Now, I'm sure someday I will be able to distinguish the different branches of the military on sight by colors, prints and emblems but we haven't really been together that long yet… And this guy was wearing a funny hat.

I nudged Eric with my elbow and pointed. "Hey Eric, what kind of Army is he?"

Without missing a beat. "Well, Elicia… that would be the US Army."

Incident #3
A group of our friends went to go see a thriller flick out in Cool Springs. I was a little perturbed because I was there against my will. I HATE SCARY MOVIES. The movie theater was PACKED. There were limos and buses dropping people off in droves and we had to wait in line forever to get our tickets.

He looks around the theater. "What is going on? What's with all the people?"

I roll my eyes. "What do you expect on a Saturday night?"

"I don't know, Elicia. Since it's Friday."

Incident #4
Recently we went on a Hookah bar adventure with some friends. Too make a complicated story short a hookah is a pipe that you smoke flavored tobacco out of. There is a stone that rests in the top of the bowl and we couldn't decide if the stone is what we were smoking or if the tobacco was underneath the stone. If you know the answer to this, please let me know…

Last night on our way to see The Dark Knight we were discussing the hookah stone again.

"Elicia, how could anyone make a stone out of tobacco?" he asked.

I pondered this for a minute. "Well, you know Eric they DO make paper out of cotton."

Again, he doesn't miss a bit. "Actually, Elicia. They make paper out of trees."

I don't know what goes wrong in my head whenever I'm around him. I don't know if my brain cells explode at the sight of his pretty blue eyes and cause me to drop a few IQ points or what. It's to the point now that as soon as I said the "paper is made out of cotton" bit I burst out in uncontrollable laughter before he could even get out his whole statement of correction.

I'm amazed that he hasn't rolled his eyes and dumped me yet for being a complete ditz. He keeps telling me that he likes the fact that I have a good head on my shoulders…. I guess I'm just determined to prove him wrong.